I have just had a very profound and so clear realization while I was listening to Rachel Scoltock in her weekly Angel Message video. I quickly made an intuitive body test, tuning into two different options and it got very clear that I needed to finally release my family of origin and chats with them on my phone and hopes that there might be a chance for a new relationship developing.
I did that and cried what I needed to cry. I put some stuff online to donate what I still have from them.
Where did that come from?
I had been invited to a family meeting in July. The invitation came months ago through my aunt who has been in contact with me through all the past years, even when I was unable to be in contact with my parents and other family members because of the trauma they had caused me.
I had an extra meeting with my aunt at the end of June which went well. It helped me realize that I didn’t carry all the family patterns anymore and there were no more triggers for me. I observed her behavior and lots of judgement, but I could just let it be and be myself.
I learned that it is really hard to explain what I do to someone who has no recognition of the other side, Angels or an unseen world. I basically had to state that it exists to explain what I do as a medium and channel. She got some kind of understanding, but not really.
I realized afterwards that I had come to be living and loving in both worlds, the physical and the spiritual and that it enriches my life. I realized that she was solely living in the physical world and it felt really constricted and tight and I knew that feeling from my childhood.
When emails started to go back and forth regarding the family meeting, I started to realize that I wasn’t part of the conversation. I only received the outcome emails. And things were planned without me in mind, because essentially no one knows me and my needs and desires or listens when I communicate them.
So eventually my body started to react and an osteopathy treatment brought up so much pain in my left arm and shoulder that driving 400 km for this meeting was not an option. After another session with my naturopath for support, I was clear and calm the next morning and cancelled the meeting.
I got no replies, even though I had sent the email to all members of the family. That’s when I realized that it was obviously not so important that I joined. And I felt disappointment about that. And I also realized that all the old communication habits in this family were still alive. I now know that all the distorted patterns come from their own unprocessed traumas.
And I’m done with it, because it hurts me.
Making space for the New
Releasing them and the pain and sadness and decades of hoping that it might change will make space for new people and experiences to come into my life. I welcome that. And I’m truly grateful for my family of choice, my soul family which contains my naturopath, my osteopath and a few more people. I’m also truly grateful for all of you who follow me and work with me.