The point that feels like you are breaking down is often the point where you are breaking through some very old patterns and leaving them behind for good.
That’s how I feel today about what I went through during the past 4 days in my private life and business.
Yesterday was the worst day for a very long time. I woke up with neck pain and headache and belly pain and lower back pain. I felt sick and after having a shower I was already tired again and had to lay down and rest. I cried. And I realised that I was about to get my period and that through my blood went a hormone cocktail that I‘m not used to anymore.
I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue 4,5 years ago resulting in progesterone fatigue which is basically infertility and hypothyroidism. Since the beginning of this year my body is clearly signaling me healing which means my fertility comes back and with it hormones I have not been used to for the past years. Not so easy to deal with for me. Even though I‘m grateful for the healing.
At the same time I was really disappointed this week about the „Business Planning With Angels, Archangels, Ascended Masters“ Online Course. I got to a point where I could no longer continue to channel the content.
On Thursday it all came together. Hormones, pains and disappointment and frustration. I wanted to give up. I just couldn’t feel anything else. Inside of me was only complete chaos and confusion. I wanted to give up my business and even someone I love and I knew both made no sense at all. But I had to go through to come out the other end. I had to feel it and voice it.
In the afternoon my body shifted and I started to feel better. A walk helped a lot as well.
And then I went online and caught Radleigh Valentine in a Facebook Live on the Hay House page doing readings. I watch all his Lives if I can catch them and I usually never ask a question, because there are so many people and I‘m a card reader myself. But yesterday I felt pulled to do so. So I took my time to write my question while he was doing another reading and then I posted it.
Soon he announced the last reading for the day and suddenly my name and question popped up on the screen. I couldn’t believe it. My question was: „Will I manage to be financially self-sustaining with my Angel online business until the end of September and be able to go off state support?“
He pulled a card for me. It was „Out with the old, in with the new“ and he said „Yes. You will be alright until you are ready to release the old situation and embrace the new situation.“ I was stunned and happy to have gotten a message from my teacher who I love.
I texted my best friend what had happened and said „I wish I could have that now.“ She wrote back „Wow. You can do this. Trust your guidance.“ In that moment a question came up and I started writing „I don’t know whether I should continue channeling the course.“ and then I paused and asked the angels whether I should and the answer was Yes.
So I pulled the Evening Card which was „Relax – Everything’s Okay. Don’t worry … it’s all going to be fine.“ and another confirmation. Then I got myself some food and a coffee (decaf) and started channeling. The first thing that came through was a beautiful prayer to start the creation of a business and the business planning process with. And then I continued with other topics. In between I tool breaks, listening to music.
Last night in my dreams I met Radleigh again. He looked at me and said „How are you today?“ and I told him what the reading had done for me yesterday.
After waking up this morning in my meditation I realised what had left me yesterday: hopelessness. A feeling I had been carrying for years and probably grown up with. A feeling that characterised the past years of my life, because so much didn’t work out the way I had hoped. A feeling that made it impossible for me to believe and trust in something better, even though the Angels never failed to show me that things were getting better and working out now.
Today for the first time I can feel that. It brings tears to my eyes while I‘m writing this. I’m still under the influence of hormones, so I’m not sure how it will feel next week. I try to be in the moment. My body doesn’t allow me much different anyway.
So if you are feeling in any moment that you are breaking down and want to give up, just let it happen. Feel what you feel. That too will pass. And you will likely leave behind old patterns and feelings that no longer serve you and your path.