In August 2019 a major trauma release left me completely disoriented. I am talking about healing. I was suddenly free from most of my trauma. And I also had no access anymore to most of my behaviors of the past. Suddenly I had no idea how to continue life and my business. What had been my normal for 43 years was gone and still is.
In an osteopathy session at the beginning of February I shared that I tend to forget that. But I am still nowhere near a new normal. I have no reference anymore how to do things. I cannot access old behaviors anymore. And I have to deal with old impulses in my nervous system and mind that come up. It’s basically old energy that needs to leave. It says you can do this to achieve that. When I feel into it, it doesn’t feel right anymore. I can’t do it.
For months in September, October and November 2019 I’ve watched what was happening in my life. I observed that I still had clients and that I still could do readings. It just all feels different than before.
This major healing also made space for new things that weren’t possible before. I self-published my first book “Is It Cool To Be An Angel? – Interviews with Angels, Archangels and Guardian Angels”. I am now able to do Live Readings via video chat and they are amazing. I am so connected to the Angels, Archangels and Ascended Masters and the messages are just flowing.
I cannot access the former behavior of pushing myself and the business into financial self-sufficiency. I have to let it all grow and develop slowly. I am trying a lot of new things like advertising. I am feeling my way forward.
I have acknowledged that I am beyond grateful that my body is healthy again after I had adrenal fatigue and chronic pain for years. I have acknowledged that my regained health to me is more important than being self-sufficient again quickly. I have acknowledged that I am extending my application for state support. I have acknowledged that I don’t intend to be on state support forever, but I know when I need help and I ask for it and allow myself to receive it.