I’ve been trying to fit in for far too long. I’m just letting go now.

I’ve been trying to fit in for far too long. I’m just letting go now.

I’ve always associated trying to fit in with people and society, but in yesterday’s osteopathy session I realized that I had been trying to fit in this country and my family of origin. I got up from the treatment table saying “If I want to belong to Germany and the family I was born into, I have to bend over backwards. I have done that far too long. I can’t do that anymore.”

The treatment released one of the most tense areas in my body that I’ve had for ages in my left leg and hip. And that insight came out of it together with a lot of pain and tears.

The other realization that came with lots of pain and tears was that I had always wanted children and a family and due to that not working out, I had let it go. But it came up so strongly from my body yesterday that I had to take note that this desire hasn’t left me. I also remembered that I keep getting visions of having a little girl and I kind of didn’t want to know. I’m now just taking note and accepting it without attaching to anything.

I’m letting go of so much right now and it just feels freeing. Yesterday afternoon my plants went to a new home. I am working through tons of photos and screenshots of the past 5,5 years that I took during my healing process and journey from the Baltic Sea to Heidelberg and then being here. I could hardly release any of that in the past years. Now I can.

I am letting go of wanting anything including on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube or with the business. I just take note when clients message me that they don’t want to book right now. It doesn’t spark fear anymore which it did a lot all through the past years. Now I just take note and let go.

The Angels keep telling me that I will have the money I need for what I need to buy or book. And I just accept it. And it’s true, money shows up from unexpected sources.

I’m just letting go now.